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Hell Bent For Metal ask if being a metalhead limits queer dating life

Posted by Tom Dare in Hell Bent for Metal on February 8, 2022

The LGBTQ+ heavy metal podcast discusses whether being metalheads has been a dating barrier to them, and puts releases from Violet Cold, Rolo Tomassi, and Kurokuma into the HCGB jukebox.

Hell Bent For Metal asks whether being a metalhead is a barrier to queer dating life, and the hosts discuss their experiences of this. Tom and Matt ask if the metal look, metal culture, and not being part of the more stereotypical gay scene, are additional sources of difficulty to queer romantic life.

One particular area of discussion is whether they’ve had more romantic (NB – definitely not talking hook-ups, they’re exclusively talking about people they see again, and in daylight) partners who are metalheads, or more who were not – with surprisingly differing answers.

On top of this, if it is a barrier, they ask whether it’s the actual love and affiliation with metal that is the issue, or whether the stronger tendency for metalheads to become passionate or even obsessive about our music is the bigger obstacle

There is also some discussion about whether the metal “look” is one that can prevent dates happening in the first place, given it’s a fairly specific set of conventions, and that they aren’t commonly seen style choices amongst gay men.

They are also inviting audience input on this issue, and will follow up so that other parts of the LGBTQ+ community can offer their experiences in a future show as soon as possible. If you’d like to contribute, you can find links to their Discord, as well as the obvious social media networks on their website (DMs are open on all platforms), or email the podcast’s inbox at show@hbfm.co.uk.

Plus it’s a bumper visit to the Hate Crew Gaybar, with three releases for the jukebox, starting with the unofficial favourite band of the podcast – the Azerbaijani one-man blackgaze/drum and bass/folk/pop/ambient house/everything project Violet Cold – with his new album ‘Səni Uzaq Kainatlarda Axtarıram’. After that, the sixth album from UK boundary pushers Rolo Tomassi, whose mathcore roots show through only a little on the post-rock/post-hardcore/post-metal-inflected ‘Where Myth Becomes Memory’. And finally, the Celtic Frost-loving sludge of Sheffield, England band Kurokuma gets some love, with their debut album ‘Born Of Obsidian’ being the final entry for the jukebox this week.

Listen to Hell Bent For Metal on Spotify here, listen on iTunes here, or choose one of the other ways to listen here.


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